Birthday Bashes for Dummies | Part 2: Adrenaline Rising

After you've sent out invitations (step one) and got culinary preparations rolling (step 2), you are now ready for:

Step 3: Buying presents

Presents need to be well thought-out and arranged for in advance. Many of your invited guests, as well as grandparents and friends of the family will ask what the birthday boy or girl wants for his or her birthday. And, remember, they only mean well! So the best thing to do is to already draw up a list weeks before the actual birthday event that includes whatever is missing from your kids' assortment of toys and who could be in charge of what. This plan works wonders with the first child, but it gets more complicated with child No. Two, because what you have to ask yourself now isn't what your child is asking for but if there is anything it doesn't have yet. What can you add to an army of plush animals, a fleet of miniature trains and an assortment of lego building blocks? Is there enough room in the book shelf for more books? How many wood, puzzle, miniature baking utensils and bath tub toys are appropriate for kids that haven't reached the first grade? Is one Bobby Car scooting across hardwood floors at 6 a.m. to the delight of your downstairs neighbors enough or should each child have their own? Can my nerves even take any more instruments for one to three year olds (next to the agglomeration of drums, rattles and bells we've collected over the years)? Is it o.k. to get your daughter a doll buggy for her first birthday?

Then there are the insecurities concerning the toy store: Do I also need to get a little something for the big brother? If there's one thing I do know, it's that you should never, never bring a kid to the toy store because it will result in a nightmare for everyone including the noise-tried ladies behind the cashier. By the way, make sure to ask your guests to refrain from endowing your offspring with any toys that produce unnecessary noises, like books with comic squeaks, annoying car horns or ghastly animal sounds. My third piece of advice: Don't forget about goody bags! No, it's not enough that you as a host have to tie up all kinds of loose ends to make sure it all goes down smoothly – you're also in charge of give aways for the same kids that have taken your living room apart over the course of an afternoon. These contents always work: Magic washcloths (the size of a coffee pad), kid stamps or soap bubbles.

Step 4: The Party Venue

Let's be honest – an apartment is a glance into a family's soul. If your home is in good order, your family is in shape. It's true when people say “You need to clean up after the party anyway!” but that doesn't mean you can't tidy up a little bit beforehand so your guests can at least tell the bedroom from the children's rooms and the kitchen from the bathroom. So there's no way around a good autumn cleaning session. Start with your refridgerator, from inside to out. I don't think there's any other place in an apartment that so clearly reflects a family's lifestyle as their fridge. And I don't even mean the contents, but the state of the crisper and other compartments. A filthy fridge is not an option. (Thematic excursion: When I look back at my boyfriend's old WG – refridgerator, I think that he can consider himself lucky I became the mother of his children after taking a peek inside.)

After that, progress from one room to the next and clean one room per day. Beware: You'll probably remember all the things you've wanted to do around here! Change that bulb, stuff that hole, and – good god, since when has the curtain rod in the living room been hanging down at a 45 degree angle? When you're expecting a group of toddlers over for the day, there's no way around vacuuming and mopping. It would be a little awkward if eight month old Luis choked on a peanut puff while little Lilly played with dust bunnies. Once you've smartened up your pad, it's time to distribute paper streamers, balloons and colorful garlands around the place. My fourth tip: The more, the better. This goes for birthday decorations as well as prosecco for the parents.

After you've done everything you could in preparation for the big day, it's time to open your doors for the little ones. All that's left to do now is hope that everything will run smoothly while you remain in the dark about the number of cancellations due to measles, stomach flus and other KITA afflictions until days or minutes before the big B. But one thing remains certain: Next year at this time, we're taking a vacation to a place far, far away. Happy Birthday!

(sjb)